Category: Parent Talk
Hi. This thought sprung to mind when my Grandparents asked my aunt, who's 24 weeks pregnant, what she was going to do about the baby's pram. With her three children from her first marriage, she "borrowed" my old Silver Cross pram, a huge, coach-built, solid-boddied monstrossity, impossible to fit in the boot of any car smallerthan a seven-seater people carrier or four-wheel drive and impossible to fit through any standard or even wide doorways and needs a small crane to lift just the carry cot part off the ground when assembling it, so my Aunt said no way was she going down that road ever again, so the pram is once again, downstairs in our garage, this time for the foreseeable future, and who can blame my aunt? I'm certainly not going to use that thing with my children. No. A fold-flat pushchair with the option to clip on a carrycot or carseat'll be the one I'll use. It'll fit in even a small car boot and will easily fit through shop doorways or your back or front doors at home. Of course, there're simply thousands of different types of compact buggy or bulky three-wheeler or fold-flat pushchairs out there, so there's something to suit everyone without resorting to those dreadful old bouncy prams whic[h apostrophe r]e no use to anybody apart from being a resting place for baby in the back garden on a lovely summer's day, so which one would you all opt for? The bulky, huge old pram or the compact, neat little outfit of the baby buggy/pushchair? The MClaren buggy in fact, was invented by this engineer, who's name was Mclaren, back in 1968 when his daughter brought his new granddaughter over from the US in one of those old-fashioned prams as mentioned above. To cut a long story short then, he invented the umbrella buggy, still very much in use today. I'll look out the full article and post it on here at some point. It was in You And Your Child I think, earlier this year.
Other than perhaps being a bit more sterdy I don't see any real advantage to the clunky solid frame models of baby carriages. I personally will use a stroller, US name for a push chair, although I don't know the exact brand I want. I would of course go and look at different models and brands and also take into consideration, portability, shading and wind/rain protection for the baby, weight and ease of folding and storing, as well as what color pattern and type of materials I want. I would look for something that can easily be taken on a public bus when folded up and or stored in friends' and family's cars. I also need to find something which I can pull behind me while using my guide dog. However, I intend to carry my child in a backpack and or a frontpack (two very practicle carriers that have straps much like a napsack and which have cloth over a rigid frame) at the beginning. They allow the child to sit up, look around and be protected and your hands are left free to open doors, carry groceries and use a guidedog. Only when the child becomes too heavy to carry in this manner will I switch to a stroller.
I've always wondered how one uses a stroller with a guide dog. That sounds like an interesting challenge.
Well, you would get the guide dog used to you pulling things behind you like a backpack on wheels, a wheeled instrument case (something large like a cello case) then maybe a suitcase. Once the dog is used to this you can start pulling an empty stroller behind you: with your right hand of course as your left will be holding the harness. Then you can put something in it to give it weight like a baby so you can get used to the balance, something like a sack of flour, apples or potatoes. Then you can put something like a baby doll in the stroller which looks like the baby will, to the dog at least. Once the dog is used to all of this you can introduce the dog to the baby in the stroller, assuming that you have already gotten the dog accustomed to the infant just sitting on the floor or on your lap. You'll have to practice so that you have good reaction time with the stroller's momentum behind you for when the dog indicates a curb or stairs. You'll also want to test drive some models in the store to find one that handles well and that you can get a good central grip on, such as a stroller which doesn't have two seperate handles, but rather one long bar across the back. I hope that helps. Of course you might also want to consult some training books and or your guide dog school.
I've pulled and pushed and tipped and kicked and collapsed and essembled and poked and prodded every single stroller in Babies R Us and I've reached a verdict. I'm going with the cortina travel system by Chicco. It's shaped like an umbrella stroller, but a touch longer from front to back. It does however have the ability to incline the matrece to a completely flat position like a buggy, which is issential for infants. It has a collapsable sun shade, storage underneath, and it handles very well. What makes it a travel system is that you can take the included carseat and snap it on to the stroller, right out of the car. You get a car-base that buckles into your vehicle and stays there. You don't have to hastle with buckling in a car seat anymore as the seat snaps easily and securely into and out of the base so that you can save time and simply carry the baby out of the car in it's infant car seat. Then you can snap the seat on to the stroller and just go, instead of having to unbuckle the baby from the carseat, pick them up, possibly waking them up, put them in the stroller, adjust them and buckle them in. The baby sits frontways in the stroller as normal, but the snap on seat faces backwards, which is more secure for very young infants and doesn't bother them one bit. It's a much better deal, as the carseat and base cost one hundred and seventy and the stroller alone costs about two hundred dollars, but if you buy the whole system it's two hundred and eighty. Here's some more advice for guide dog users that I have gleaned from my most recent experience. 1. Make sure that you can turn the stroller easily around tight corners with out it getting stuck or tipping over. 2. Make sure that the length of the handle and of your arm allows the rear wheels of the stroller to stay far enough from your feet that they don't hit your rear foot in your stride. If they hit the further back of your two feet as you walk it can cause the stroller to tip down and backwards, which is very dangerous. If it does tip a little, but you can easily control it with the pull bar and your arm strength then it shouldn't be a problem. 3. Run into the stroller, kick it, bump it, side swipe it, in short, test it. You need to see how easily it is going to tip over if you forget exactly where it is and run into it from the front, back or broadside, or if you accidentally clip it with your hip. 4. See how quickly the stroller stops when you stop, as it's response time will have to be good if you are going to stop at curbs and stairs. 5. Run the stroller into things, like shelves in the store. It should be easily redirected once it has hit something, and should easily be able to be backed up and realigned once it has fetched up against something. You will hit things with your stroller, you will bump things, a wheel or two will go off the sidewalk, etc. These things are unavoidable, so you need to know how your stroller will handle. I hope that helps.
Personally, I found that no matter how much "dry" testing you do on a stroller, it's really hard to know how well it will work for you when your baby is actually in it. We bought a travel system, and while it's kind of neat to have the car seat and stroller snap together, I realized only after I had to load the contraption into and out of the car every single day that had I bought them separately, I could have gone for a much lighter stroller, which would have made my life easier. I guess sometimes it's difficult to foresee what will work and what won't, and for what reasons, and one really good solution might be to just talk to--and listen to--people who have actually been there for their input.
I did notice that the majority of the travel systems had heavy, bulky strollers, but this one was very light-weight and it folds up smaller than a lot of the umbrella strollers. I love going to the big babies r us stores because there are tuns of mothers and grandmothers milling around who can share their real-world experience and checking the product reviews online is so helpful as they've actually been there and done that and are willing to share detailed imformation about spacific products. At first I wouldn't even consider a travel system. We started by looking at them, as they were lined up all nicely on a side wall, but after trying about ten I said the hell with it and moved on to the umbrella strollers and simpler single strollers. Then after I had picked one out and we had moved on to car seats I fell in love with the infant car seat by Chicco and the sales woman told us about the travel system. I balked at the idea but she encouraged us to go and try it out, explaining that it was the lightest model of travel system that they offered. She was great, talking to me and not talking over my head to my sighted fiance. She talked me through packing it and setting it up, described the color choices creatively, gave me all of the cons, not just the pros and even considered are make and model of car, a Handa, before assuring us that it would fit in the trunk. One of the strollers we looked at before this one, I affectionatly call it the urban asult stroller would deffinitly not have fit and the sales person was very honest with us on that point. It's really cute, made by jeep and it is very awsum. It has a spinning toy stearing wheel with music and sounds on the tray for the baby, cup holders for the baby and the parent, insolated storage bags on the handle-bar, a cool, very easy to stear three-wheel design and even built in speakers that you can hook your ipod, mp3 player or diskman into so that you and the baby can listen to music as you walk. It took two hours of my fiance wining and me laughing and firmly telling him no, before we were able to continue our stroller search for a unit of a more manigeable size, like the one we finally picked. I think what apealed to him most aside from the look and the features was the thought of pushing our little bundle of chaos down the street while the little monster beeped their annoying little toy horn at people in their way. While that is an amusing image I finally prevailed when I resorted to simply stating over and over and over again: Sweety. You. Have. A. Bloody. Handa. It. Will. Not. Fucking. Fit. rofl
Okay, the image of you two in the store with that stroller... hilarious. I just woke up my roommate with the laughing. Hahahaha. Made my night.
Wow. I didn't know picking a stroller could be so involved. lol I started out with one of those huge prams which is like a bed on wheels. It was so huge however that where we went was limited. So when Hannah was a few months old, we got just a standard jeep umbrella stroller. Itt works great! Being sighted I guess I never really thought of how I would push a stroller if using a cane or dog. It sounds like a great thing to be able to do. A sling is also a great option although you have to be careful not to be pulled backwards like I almost was because Hannah was getting heavy and I was carrying her on my back. Also have to be careful backing up or turning sharp corners. lol
I'd have to go with the sling or backpack, especially backpack when they get a bit older. Eric totally loves his and even if it gets heavy after long walks, it's by far the easiest thing to carry him around. Haven't done too much cane work in Iceland (it's not emant for public transportation) I lugged him all around Paris and Malta in the backpack and I think, with a cane, I'd be much more comfortable than trying to pull a stroller behind me.
I'm going to get a backpack or front pack; that's next on my list of products to research and try out. To the last poster; What kind did you use? That is, what brands do you reccomend? The stroller is more for going to the park, a family reunion, an out-door concert, a day at the beach, on a picnic or camping, so that the baby can nap in it and play in it when they are very young. For example, if I am going to the mall I will use the stroller because I can store purchases under the stroller, and have a huge backpack of items on my back. I always use a large backpack when going to the mall alone, as it allows me to carry quite a lot and still have hands free for doors, dog or cane, food and eskelator and elevator use. If I was going to the grocery store I'd use the baby backpack since all of the groceries would be going into the cart. I'm really lothed to put my child in the kid's seat on the grocery cart for two reasons. One, it's dirty up there. People store delly meat, fish and raw meat from the butcher's section in there and other people's kids little gassy baby butts go in that seat. Two, they are not the safest things in the world. They are uncomfortable, give very limited support to the back, no support to the head or neck and no support to the sides. Also the restraint is only a lap belt and a three or five point harness should really be available. The leg holes are too large also to properly restrict movement on smaller children. I would use the baby back pack on a hike, but the stroller in the camp site. I think both are very useful and I intend to get one of each.
Another concern of mine when it comes to seats in carts is the amount of time; or lack there of, that it takes a stranger to disappear with a little one. I personally plan on carying a pack even with my sighted husband; if we're in stores, for this reason. He gets distracted looking for a product, I'm trying to help, and the kid disappears...No thanks!
Yes, very true to the last poster. I never ever take my eyes off Hannah when we're out in public. I tell James to watch her too. Sometimes he says I'm too cautious, but I don't think you can be too cautious or paranoid when it comes to the safety of your child. One time we were in the grocery store looking at spices. Two old ladies rudely pushed between us and Hannah in her stroller got pushed about 15 feet down the isle. I was furious at them and told them a thing or two. lol Never turn your back to your child. It only takes a few seconds.
That'll make shopping and stuff quite tricky though, some of those front carriers, especially if the baby's around a year old and he/she's just getting heavier and heavier. plus all the bags of shopping you'll have to lug home on the bus or in a taxi, which is why I'd invest in a pushchair with a fixed tray or shopping/storage basket in the bottom. My shoulders and back haven't quite forgiven me for lugging incredibly heavy bags of books or laptops everywhere when I was at School.
Jen.
Jen.
Well, you can still use a stroller safely. First of all my shepherd will most likely be protective of my child, not unreasonably so, that she would growl at anyone who approaches, but rather she would take a serious chunk out of anyone who grabbed my child out of the stroller as an infant or off of the playground as a toddler. She'd bark and chase and bite and raise all sorts of hell. I know of a woman who's guidedog chased down a man who snatched her child from a swing at a playground, bit him several times, ran after him for over three blocks and finally pinned him to the ground until a crossingguard and another parent could take the child away and turn the man over to police. Second of all I would never have both hands completely off of the stroller and you can put a child leash around the infant's waist in the stroller and the wrist loop around your hand and you'd feel instantly if someone was covertly removing your child. Also if you use a five point restraint it will take longer for the kidnapper to remove the child than if they were wearing a simple lap belt or a three point harness. You would certainly notice something going on. One more thing; babies are excellent cryers and screamers and the chances of someone being able to get the child out of the stroller, not wake them up and keep them from howling their head off are encredibly slim.
Actually, it's done all the time. Just look online at the kidnapping stories with parents saying things like: "I just looked away for a second..." "He/she didn't even make a sound..." ETC.
Yes, but that can happen to a sighted parent just as easily. I refuse to be a completely paranoid mother, constantly holding my child or having them in direct contact with me in a sling or front pack. That is not healthy for the child or for me, for the mother-child relationship, period. It is reasonable to take precaussions, but there is a level of concern that inhibits free and healthy expression. There will be a time when this child is much too big to be carried and before they are either steady enough or fast enough on their feet to walk on a kid leash or with their hand in the parents'. At that time I am not going to break my back with a forty pound child in a front pack or a backpack. You have to look at the odds, be a well-educated and responsible parent and that is all you can really do. If I am at a picnic I am not going to eat with a child in my lap or attached to me at all times, nor do I expect my fiance to do so. There is no reason that the baby can't nap in their stroller right beside us. You just have to be careful and take prudent measures and recognize that there will always be risk, no matter what you do. Strollers exist for a reason, because they work. If a kidnapper wants a child badly enough to sell or abuse or for whatever reason then they will get them, no matter what you do. Children are taken from their homes and from their backyards, or their parent is asulted and the child is taken right from their arms or their backpack. I am not going to become a paranoid blind mother and not use a stroller just because a few children have been snatched from them.
I agree with you on not being paranoid. I'm not saying that I won't use a stroller (more accurately, I don't have a problem with my husband using one). My reasons for not using one personally come down to comfort. Unfortunately I've almost tipped a baby in a stroller, and not once but twice. It seems I personally can't get the hang of cane and stroller...However, my husband and I have been looking at strollers we like for a wide variety of reasons. However, in shopping circumstances I prefer the packs for the reasons stated above. I by no means am trying to say that strollers shouldn't be used. If I came across that way I'm sorry. I don't always explain myself clearly. But, going back and reading I believe I stated "carying a pack even with my sighted husband; if we're in stores, " And that is how I mean it. I personally don't like using a stroller in the store...But everyone has to make their own decision on the matter. *smile*
Thank you so much for being one of those rare people who has both strong opinions and an open mind. I was dredding a long drawn out battle, as is often happening on the zone with close-minded people who are not willing to converse rationally, but it is truly refreshing to talk to someone who is not a push over, who is firm in their opinions, but not at all offended when prompted to explain and expand upon their stance. I do understand how you feel as i know many people, even sighted parents who hate having to manuver a stroller and I can only imagine how difficult it must be with a cane. I practiced with my cane as well as my dog, but it is certainly much harder with a cane and if I had to leave my dog home for some reason and was forced to use my cane exclusively I would seriously consider ditching the stroller for just that occasion.
Got ya. LOL, can't blame you. The first time I tipped a stroller I was 16 and had my little brother...The second time was only a little over the year ago. At least the second time it didn't actually tip...Just the first, but baby brother unhurt, so, all good. LOL. Anyways, I definitely like the stroller for walks, hiking, camping, family visits, ETC: Just don't for shopping. But, that's me, and my husband will likely be along for the others. Who knows, if I get more practice I might grow easier with me personally using them. No one knows what the future holds. LOL.
As for recommended front/back packs, Baby Bjorn for the first sling and I believe snuggly made the bckpack we're using, both excellent products, The back pack has a stirdy steel frame, yet very light, rests nicely on your hips and there are straps around hips and chest so that the weight is nicely distributed, also a very large section for groceries or other stuff underneat the part where the baby rests, I've lugged home 3 grocery bags and two wine bottles along with my son over a 10 minute walk, no problem.
Nothing wrong with putting the baby in a shopping cart when he/she gets a bit older. I think babies need a reasonable doze of germ exposure, helps their immune system, if you keep them in an unnaturally clean environment all the time they're more likely to develop allergies etc. When the baby is very little though the carts can be dangerous due to lack of proper harnesses.
Thanks for the suggestions for carriers. They are next on our list and I will keep these names in mind when we go to babies r us again.
Why go to Babies R Us, they are ridiculously overpriced. We got most of our stuff of Craigslist, local users, stuff in good condition, costing a fifth of the price of a new thing and it's baby stuff, it's not like it's disease ridden or worn out, we got the Backpack of Target.com I believe for $90, think Babies R Us are charging twice that for same make/model.
I think going usd is a very very smart thing for baby clothes (onesies etc), strollers and such. Not unless you're swimming in money of course, but it's just a thought.
Well, my fiance's parents are not rich, but they are well-off and his mother has already started planning a baby shower for me with the women in her neighborhood. Also we have a great deal of friends from LifeStream who would like very much to come to a shower and so my mother and her friend Jayne are going to throw me a second shower so that they all can attend. I don't disagree with getting items from Wallmart, Target, Kaymart, Wegmans, etc that are much more expensive for the exact same brand and item at babies r us, however we can only register at one store and babies r us has an excellent registry program. Most of the more inexpensive stores don't have a way to register with them at all and if they do it is extremely limited. Babies r us will keep a running list from which items will be subtracted once purchased by people buying gifts for our shower so that there are no duplicates, will notify us immediately if an item is going to be discontinued so that we can buy it quickly before it is gone or select a replacement item and will send us email updates on any products we buy if there is ever a recall so that we will know immediately and can keep our baby safe. Also their salespeople have been very very helpful and honest. I have had a sales associate inform us that a certain product is not the best buy, or that it is exactly the same as a less expensive brand save for the color or some tiny difference that would not effect our decision in favor of the more expensive product. Often a sales associate will level with us and tell us that something, we first time parents have registered for is simply not neccessary, or that there are cheeper and more effective alternatives. Also babies r us offers a nice gift package that you get when you register that contains detailed books, not tiny sales sheets, but small books on selecting the safest, most cost effective and high quality products, coupons for different products they offer, but that can be used for those brands at another store that carries them and some small samples of actual products. For example we got a four ounce bottle complete with nipple, nipple collar and cover, a pasifyer, some bra pads for nursing and a full color, extremely detailed book from midella that helped us choose just the right hospital grade breast pump. Many of the buying guides they gave us also are product spacific, but not spacific to their store, which means we could search for brands and products we like the looks of on the actual manufacturers' websites and in other stores. There are also a lot of great online tools that really helped me in selecting the right products or knowing where to start when looking into a certain item. They provide checklists, buying guides, reviews by other parents and a lot more online. The reviews are not rigged either. Some products get rave reviews and others bomb, but all the reviews are there the good, the bad and the middle-of-the-road which have been encredibly helpful. My philosophy is, "let's see what is purchased for us then reassess the list and see how much money we have left and how much is left to buy after applying the ten percent discount that we will automatically get on all of the items in our registry after the baby showers. Then we can look for the things that we didn't get and or can't afford and look elsewhere for them. Then we'll take the product names and the brands that we picked out at babies r us and look at the more inexpensive stores. If we can't find enough of it new then we will look for the products we have already researched and picked out at babies r us on ebay or creg's list. Then we'll use garage sales as our last resort." I just mean that if people are going to buy us things anyway, we should insure that they are buying us things we actually need and like, and that we have researched extensively and approved and that we can return to the store easily and exchange for something else because we know what store it came from and don't have to ask for a gift receet and create ackquardness. Somethings at babies r us are over priced and some are a bargain, it all depends on the item and the brand, but if you do your research and be a responsible consumer then you can weed out the rip-offs and find the real deals. We want to avoid getting things as gifts that are not at all what we wanted and then having to struggle to return them at various stores or worse getting things that can not be returned at all. We have a lot of strong personal preferences that we can make clear in the notes section of our registry and through our selection of products so that we do not get things we can't or won't use. For example I am going to breastfeed and so I do not need any formula, formula mixers, bottle warmers or bottle staralizers and fewer bottles and a very spacific kind of nipple and breastpump equipment that I would not want someone randomly selecting. I do not need any formula or formula mixer and trying to return cans of formula is very difficult if not entirely impossible. As I will be dealing with very few bottles I can simply staralize them in the microwave staralizing bags made by Midella that are inexpensive and very easy to use and that unlike the dishwasher and traditional bottle staralizers can not be used to staralize the breastpump components. Therefore I do not need a staralizer of any kind. Expressed breastmilk is best served at room temperature and microwaving it can ruen the antibodies and nutrition completely as can superheating or heating unevenly, so a bottle warmer is simply not neccessary. We also need special slow-flow nipples for the bottles so as to avoid nipple confusion, a common problem and so we can't have people randomly buying us the wrong ones. Breastpumps run the gamet from junk to medical grade and someone who has not consulted with a breastfeeding specialist at the hospital or a knolegable sales rep for a manufacturer, both of which we did consult, would not be able to pick the right pump or the right pumping acesseries. Because of the research I have done and the bottles I have test driven while baby sitting I know that I want a very spacific type, simple glass nursers with standard, not wide mouths, slow-flow nipples and with out that terrible venting system that goes right down into the bottle and includes removable bottoms which never seal properly back on. Just from this detailed example you can tell how frustrating it would be to not be registered here at least for our baby shower needs. If that example doesn't prove our case, consider that we are also going all organic for babycare and cleaning products, using cloth diapers and want very spacific well-researched educational toys and you will see why it is so important that we have a lot of control over our baby shower registry that we only get at babies r us. Someone might buy us a stroller that I can not pull while using my guide dog, disposable diapers that we will not use, clothing that is not up to safety standards, colors that do not go at all with the decore in the baby's room or a basinette that we have not tested to be running German shepherd-proof as we have.
Question of curiosity...Why can you only register at one store? From what I've read registering with a couple is more recommended...Keep in mind I'm reading on parenting.com. Curious do to attempts to be prepared for our own future...If it happens. LOL. I know, some might say I'm jumping the gun, but as we're actively trying...Doing all the techniques...We're hopeful it will come soon.
Well, best of luck with all that. Just remember to treat this like a baby, not a science project. He/she may have preferences that are not in line with the latest scientific research, you might not be able to breast feed, baby may prefer bottle tops that are not what you expected him/her too, things are very different, generally, from what you expect them to be, when it comes to babies. I'd personally be more relaxed and just kind of learn the basic stuff and then wait for the baby to be born so you can learn what the baby likes with the baby rather than forcing the internet's best practice upon him/her. But that's just my parenting style and I never claimed it to be superior, I just find this whole thing a bit excessive, our son has a bunch of "educational toys" and super cute expensive fancy teddybears, but he prefers his fake little guitar and a $3 teddybear elephant from Ikea, you couldn't separate it from him without considerable screamage and he doesn't sleep without it. Allow the baby to develop a bit of preference on his/her own is my advice, it's good to be prepared but you can never really be prepared for all of this.
You know, if you think you're going to be able to walk with a guide dog and pull a stroller then i would think again. And I speak as someone who has been there, done that.
When I was pregnant I went and investigated all the buggies I could, looked at them for foldability, menoverability etc and I too settled on a travel system, partly because it was actually the easiest buggy to fold and menover and partly because the car seat attachment meant I could go into town and potentially get a taxi home and would still have a car seat to strap nathan into the taxi and be able to fold the buggy, but could have just the buggy if not potentially going in the car and it was nice and comfortable for him to sleep in.
But you know what? I never got past my front door. Because the theory of pulling/pushing a buggy with one hand and holding on to a guide dog with the other was vastly different to the reality. It simply isn’t possible to pull a buggy with one hand, keep it going in the right direction, without slipping off the edges of curbs etc, and the reality of going into shops like that just doesn’t bear thinking about. Plus in terms of your posture it won’t do you any good to constantly have one arm behind your back – you just won’t be able to drag that buggy along for long periods of time.
There are organizations that manufacture harnasses that you can attach around your waste to pull the buggy along that way if that’s how you wanted to play it, but to be brutally honest I was never comfortable with the idea of dragging my child behind me across road/through opening/closing doors etc.
I personally had a sling for the 1st 8 months or so, and then switched to a back carrier. It too was one of those ones with the frame and a bag underneath to put shopping etc. Also, the more you use it, the easier it is. If you carry a child in It daily then your muscles adjust to the weight as it increases as opposed to those people who only use their carriers once a month or so and find out that baby has increased by a few pound the next time and it nearly kills them.
I carried him in the carrier until he was 2. Once he reached a stage of being able to walk well I allowed him to walk short distances holding my hand, and gradually increased the distances until I was able to leave the carrier at home. We had a buggy for weekends when my husband was about.
I would never advise someone with a guide dog to even bother with a buggy.
Wow. This sounds way too complicated and like Brew said, like a science project. Sometimes you can put too much thought and planning into how you think you are going to deal with your baby. Just go with the flow. Some researching is goo but to firmly set how you are going to do things is just setting yourself up for lots of stress and disappointment. Just relax and enjoy being pregnant and enjoy your baby when they get here. Like B said, your baby might have totally different ideas than you. You will never know how it will be or what you will do until your baby is actually here. Going with the flow and letting your baby lead the way most of the time is the easiest and best thing to do. This is within reason of course.
Good luck.
Lizzy
No, actually the project for us is getting pregnant, and I don't think any harm has ever been found in learning about all options instead of waiting until the last moment and being unprepared.
Oh, my post was referring to the original poster, not to you.
And, yes, by all means, see what's out there, what different types of stuff there are, be prepared, just keep in mind that you have to adjust and you only know what it's like once the baby is here. I'm not trying to be a mr know it all, I was all enthusiastic and preparing like that myself beforehand (not this much) but I learnt it was way too much and it was more important to just hold the baby, connect with him, have a few basic ideas and then take it day by day. Allow your baby to develop preferences and taste and personality, of course you lay down the guide lines and such, but I think it's better to love the baby, make him/her feel safe and then figure out the best things rather than have a prescribed set of objects/customs and all for her/him. I know it's tempting to be all prepared and everything 100% worked out, but I'm just saying it won't work out like you planned and that's a good thing.
B and Lizzy, you said exactly what i was thinking in reading a lot of these board posts. it's fine and dandy to read all your books and state what you wish to happen. but babies aren't by the book. there's not one book that's going to tell you about your little baby. they have there own minds and your not going to make it up for them, neither is a book. but to each there own. good luck! and enjoy!
LOL, I totally see what you guys are saying. In my case it's deciding on what we'd prefer, and then adjust as it's needed. LOL, and we're quite sure a lot of that will be needed. We're lucky in that those who know we'd like to conceive are constantly telling us different stories they hear...Like about babies that won't feed from the breast, my alergy to disposables, or, reminding me of things like; my husband's and my food alergies, (the baby still needs to be tested on what we're alergic to), ETC.
I have actually pulled a stroller while using my dog and my guide dog school endorces it. When the trainer comes up to train my mother with her new dog he is going to do some extra work with my dog and I. Since I started this I have joined a blind parenting list, a blind home schooling families list and spoken to two blind mothers in person and quite a few people use strollers with their dog guides. I have also since borrowed a friends baby with her blessing and supervision and tried the actual baby in the actual stroller with my dog and it went well. I can adjust the handle on the model of stroller that I picked out and pull it quite comfortably with my hand not too far behind me. I agree that some dogs aren't up to guiding an owner using a stroller and that some handlers are not up to working a dog and using a stroller, but for some dog/handler teams it can work well. To Wildibrew; there is no reason that we can't return or replace products if they don't work out for us, but we want to have everything purchased before the baby actually arrives. It's better to have something, even if the baby doesn't care for it and then go out and get something different if it doesn't work than to not have anything around for a particular need and to have to go out and grab something once the baby is born. There is no reason that I can not breastfeed. As long as you do not take any medications that can cross over into the milk you can breastfeed. The myth that breast size can prohibit nursing is just that a myth. Doctors that tell a woman that her brests are too small are either ignorant or trying to discourage breastfeeding because it has not been widely accepted until quite recently. Also I am not going with random internet sites on this. Rather I am working with the Le Leche League an organization that has been in existance since before I was born and that has chapters all over the United States. You can buy things that are very spacific for your baby and still give them choice. That is why you buy several types of small toys such as rattley, crinkley, squeekey, musical, plush, rubber, plastic and water filled toys. You get a variety of colors. You buy swings or stationary entertainers that have a variety of toys attached and that allows you to attach additional toys with toy links. If my baby screams their head off in their swing then it's time to take the baby to the store and see if they would prefer a different swing, or see if the bouncer is more their speed. If my baby gets terrible gas or vomits regularly from one type of bottle then we'll try a few different kinds, but it is best to do the research and have the first round of products already to go when the baby arrives. You can register at multiple stores, but some of the big ones like Babies R Us are the only ones with the comprehensive services included in their registry. I'm only using BRU as a spring board as I have explained in another post. I don't remember if it was on this board or not. I'll go back and read and if it was not on this particular topic I will add more about that later. Just because I clearly state what I've found in my research does not mean that I am rigidly set on doing this and only this with my baby. Granted, there are a few things that I am very firm on, but most everything is flexible. For example, I absolutely insist on using some method of diapering that is environmentally friendly, but I am prepared to use organic diapers by seventh generation if cloth diapers prove to be too much. Please don't assume that just because someone is very excited and enthusiastic to share what they have discovered and decided upon with others that they are deadset against all else.
Actually, some women really cannot breastfeed, and it has nothing to do with breast size. Some women find it way too painful. Others have babies who simply cannot latch. Sometimes, babies's mouths are just not formed correctly for breastfeeding. There are a myriad of other reasons. I agree that breastfeeding is best, and I think that working with a lactation consultant is very important if you are having trouble. But you also need to be practical about the thing. If your baby isn't eating, can't eat, etc. and you've tried everything within your power, then you'll have to go with formula.
For women who cannot breastfeed because of pain there are a lot of new techniques out there, but if those don't work then of course they need to bottle feed. That is more of a medical condition though and there really isn't any reason that a normal healthy woman can't. The baby is another issue. I agree that some babies can't breastfeed, but what I said is that very few women can't, not that very few babies can't. Usually if a baby has trouble attaching it is the same with a bottle and medical intervention is needed. That is such a sad thing and I have so much empathy for mothers and infants that must go through that. I guess what I was trying to say is that many people have a very skewed idea that only certain women and a small percentage can breastfeed, when the reality is that only certain women, and a small percentage cannot breastfeed.
Heather, look at the super mom post I created many months ago. Breat sn bottle is discussed there.
“There is no reason that I can not breastfeed.” And you would know that because … you’ve breast fed before? Oh no wait this is your first baby. So you know this because… oh yes, because you read it in a book. Of course.
“Usually if a baby has trouble attaching
it is the same with a bottle and medical intervention is needed.”. So that would be why only 20% of women breastfeed past the 1st month then? No wonder our health service is so overstretched if it is dealing with the medical intervention that is required to deal with all these babies that are unable to latch on, or with all the women who suffer from cracked nipples/mastitis/thrush/extreme pain during latching. And you of course know all of this because you have first-hand experience of babies who have been unable to breastfeed… oh no wait you’ve not had a baby before have you … how silly of me… you know all this because… you read it in a book.
Quite frankly, what you are saying is bullshit.
Yes there are a lot of women who give up breastfeeding because of lack of support. But equally there are a lot of women who give up because they were simply unable to establish a proper latch/because they did not produce enough milk/because topping up with formula due to either of the above has caused nipple confusion and the baby will no longer take the breast/because of extreme pain/cracked/bleeding nipples/exhaustion due to baby feeding constantly/the list goes on.
Breastfeeding is bloody hard. Anyone that tells you differently is lying. You do not have a baby and it latches on and it’s all magical and you have this wonderful breastfeeding relationship for the next 3-6-9-12 months, it can take weeks to get breastfeeding established, even with the necessary support, and many women just find it impossible to continue, be it because they can no longer bear the pain/because their baby screams constantly because he/she is not getting enough milk/because the sight of watching your baby vomit up blood from your bleeding nipples is extremely distressing. And some women turn to formula because there comes a point at which you make a choice between, allowing your baby to scream for hours, or giving him/her a bottle because he/she is hungry.
It’s because of self righteous attitudes like yours that many women suffer horrendous guilt when they give up breastfeeding, because they often feel that they are being judged for not being able to do the best for their child.
When you have a baby you need to do so with an open mind, and one of the things you really need to be open to, is the fact you actually may not be able to breastfeed.
You can read as many books as you like, but knowledge comes with experience, and it’s also worth remembering that, while you might read a hundred books, the baby hasn’t read them.
Um, to sorta direct the topic back to what it was meant for, there's a stroller that a few blind moms have recommended for pulling behind you, Heather, if you're interested. It's by Peg Perego. I know Babies R Us has it, at least, they did online. Not sure if they'd have it in stores for you to check out, but that might be something you'd want to look into.
-- Allie
Not to get off topic again; (or is it off topic), considering this comment can apply to anything; (from strollers to breast/formula feeding), but to quote her; (as SB did)..."Just because I clearly state what I've found in my research does not mean that I am rigidly set on doing this and only this with my baby. Granted, there are a few things that I am very firm on, but most everything is flexible. " I think flexability is the most important part when doing research...My husband and I aren't even pregnant yet; (that we know of), and we're still doing research. Why? Because research helps you know what's out there, and what's going on. We're also trying to get pregnant, and we simply enjoy the research. Also, I make it a point to read reviews, comments from mom's, articles from mom and expert alike, ETC. Another thing, we're also firm on some things, but flexible with most. For instants, the car seat we've chosen is at the moment; IMO, the best, and that's what we're going to get should we conceive shortly...Or, if it still looks the best when we do conceive.
Wo, wo, wo. Ok, first of all. I should have no problem whatsoever breastfeeding because I 1. have none of the potential causes of problems as listed by the La Leche League. 2. I have already begun to produce milk of a sort. It is not at all uncommon to produce a substance similar to, but not milk during your mid to late pregnancy and those women who produce colostrum, the sort of pre-milk at least a month before delivery are ninety-six percent likely to have an adiquat supply of milk. 3. The women in my family have a history of being able to breastfeed well and all of those who did not continue for a long time did so from their own choice, not limitations. 4. My OBGYN did an assessment and told me that they saw no reason that would inhibit my breastfeeding my baby. Note, I said that I should not have a problem, not that my baby shouldn't. Until it is born I claim no idea of what my baby will do, nor does my doctor, but according to all sources I should be just fine. Usually if a baby has trouble attaching it is either because of a lack of education on the mothers part by a lactation consultant or a lack of support services. If the baby them self is actually having trouble though it usually has something to do with either the sucking reflex, the rooting reflex, the structure of the face and or mouth and or throat, etc. These are much more likely to be a problem with a bottle as a baby needs to exert a different, less natural sucking motion on artificial nipples and exert more pressure as well, as compared to the breast. A medical intervention does not mean a trip to the hospital, it may however mean intervention by a midwife or nurse or another medical professional if the trouble is with the baby and not the mother. Breastfeeding can be challenging and for some I am sure that it is bloody hard, however if it was that damn difficult our species would not have survived and people in third world countries with out readily accessible bottles and formula would not be successfully rearing young at all. I personally know many many women who breastfeed each of their children successfully for quite a long time. They showed me many things and explained others. I got to wittness and help with the breastfeeding of several babies. I never claimed to be an expert and I am not claiming to have had a baby before, which would be obscerd, but I have had more experience than someone who has simply serfed the net a bit and read a few books and articles. It's in the middle of the two extremes of knolege. A lot of those problems are temporary, like thrush and or they are easily avoidable, such as cracked nipples. My biggest objection when it comes to the topic of breastfeeding is how many people believe or imply that it is terribly difficult and others are perfectly complecent and simply decide not to breastfeed because they have done no research and believe those who tell them how encredibly hard it is, opting for the more convenient bottle feeding option. To post 38; thanks for the advice. I will go check it out. I thought we had tried every single stroller in the store, but maybe we missed one, lol, or it's an online only item right now. Either way we will look into it and compare it with the stroller we currently have on our registry. Thanks again.
I have a peg perago shit can't think of the name of it. starts with a v. Anways all four wheels swivvle so it's easy to turn and doesn't tip and stuff and it has a reversable handle so it's easier to pull behind.
As for the breastfeeding. All women who are pregnant produce the colastum adn milk and stuff. But it's all up to the baby. I tried for 9 weeks and my baby wouldn'tlatch. he was getting hungrier and hungrier so finally I gave him formula and the supply just kept dropping after that because I was stressing out because he wouldn't latch. i was seeing a breast peer, couple lc's, and lll group suport. None of them could get this kid to do it. He would lock his mouth shut and wouldn't open even for the professionals. when they would get him latched on he would just scream and not suck at all. We tried nipple shields sns, feeders, all sorts of things. he would kick and scream and throw a fit he just didn't want nothing to do with breastfeeding so that stressed me out and supply slowly dropped so I had to give it up.
That's really too bad. I'm sorry. What I meant about the colostrum was that my OB told me that for women who begin producing it a month before delivery or more that the chances of them having trouble with their initial supply are one in one hundred, as opposed to women who don't produce it or who don't produce it until after a month before delivery who have increased chances of having supply problems.
Holly, your not the first Mom I've heard saying that. My best female friend's younger brother absolutely refused to latch as well. So, they didn't fight him and went to the formula.